Poet Laureate Gore

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December 8, 2009 | Comments

In his ongoing attempts to evade debating his religion that is global warming/climate change, Al Gore has expanded his evasive efforts into yet another passive arena. He has decided to try his hand at poetry, including in his new book a poem that begins:

One thin September soon
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea

Predictably heralded by Vanity Fair as “beautiful” and “evocative,” it sounds to me like the scribblings of a self-absorbed, overly dramatic, overwrought 19-year-old girl in a lower-division college poetry class. In fact, I think I wrote this poem myself when I was 19, overwrought, overly dramatic and self-absorbed. And so did all the other 19-year-olds in my lower-division college poetry class.

But no one ever called our writing “beautiful” and “evocative,” even though we, too, peppered our poetry with such powerful words as “fever” and “vapors,” and howled about disappearing continents and acid seas. No, we faced more truthful judgment. Don’t be so overwrought, scolded our prof. So dramatic. So self-absorbed.

Hear that, Al? To paraphrase my college poetry professor: Nix the pretension. Then maybe you’ll win the Nobel prize for Literature, too. Nah, never mind. You’ll probably win it anyway. And maybe another Oscar, as well, when Michael Moore turns your poem into a movie. In the meantime, I’m off to get some Christmas shopping done before the continent disappears.

Betsy Siino | Comments