Sage Parental Advice from the Obamas for the New Year

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Just before jetting off recently for yet another of their luxury, multi-million-dollar sojourns in Hawaii, the Obamas took the time to offer yet more of their sage advice — mandated new year’s resolutions, if you will — to the peasants.

First, as part of Michelle Obama’s ongoing war against obesity (read that phrase any way you wish), the First Lady lauded the “Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act” that will regulate what children eat in federally funded meal programs. The cynical among us see this as only the first shot fired in Obama’s ongoing attempt to mandate what children eat in their own homes and restaurants, as well, evident from the FLOTUS’ illuminating comment at her husband’s signing of this act that “we can’t just leave it up to the parents.”

Obama continued, stating that “childhood obesity isn’t just a public health threat, it’s not just an economic threat, it’s a national security threat, as well” (oh, if only she, her husband and their rabidly devoted minions would describe extreme fundamental jihadists with those same words). But fear not, America. Though Mrs. Obama has targeted many of America’s best-loved foods for abolition in her war against this alleged national-security threat, let us take solace from the fact that she does from time to time grant us permission to partake of those forbidden, national-security-threatening foods. Indeed just this past November, she granted us permission to eat pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving.

Not to be outshone by his wife, Barack Obama offered his own words of wisdom several days later, when he took time from his busy schedule as leader of the free world and commander-in-chief of the American armed forces to promote some children’s book, that, like several other books we might name, lists “Barack Obama” as the author. The leader of the free world’s topic on this day as he spoke to a group of Virginia schoolkids: poop scooping.

“….a lot of times, I walk Bo at night, and that’s fun,” a folksy Obama told the kids in reference to the dog he named after himself. “Sometimes I run around with Bo, although I have to — sometimes I have to scoop up his poop, because I don’t want to just leave it in the lawn.”

Obama continued, “So if you guys have a dog, you got to walk your dog, too, and clean up after him a little bit,” not only speaking down to the kids, but doing so with improper grammar, using an example that showed them what it means to be perfectly unpresidential. (It’s a safe bet he, shall we say, fudged the truth, as well, since we know there is no way he has ever scooped poop at the White House or anywhere else).  No word on whether Obama needed a teleprompter for this event, or if Bill Clinton was waiting in the wings to push him off the stage to offer the kids sage poop-scooping advice of his own.

One Comment

  1. Nancy Smith
    Posted February 4, 2011 at 9:14 am | Permalink

    If anyone has looked at a school lunch menu lately you should be thrilled to get rid of most of the junk on it. In just one week in and elementary school, pizza, chicken nuggets, cheese burger, french toast. Are you people really ok with that? Tax payer funded lunches should be healthy, not only is it bad policy to serve these foods day in and day out it leads to a lifetime of unhealthy eating learned at school.